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| Thanksgiving Day 2012 - Will was four days old |
I know I won't have time tomorrow to blog so I knew I had to write something now. Tonight was the LAST night that Will went to bed as my baby boy. Tomorrow he'll wake up as my one year old. One year old. That's a lot of emotion in three little words. I thought "I love you" were the three most amazing words in the entire English language. I was wrong. After having a preemie, "one year old" is definitely the most wonderful words I've heard.
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Will David Spinnenweber 3lbs 8oz 17.5 in
November 18, 2012 9:53 pm |
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| Once tiny, always strong |
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| So many wires for such a tiny little peanut |
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| Crying for Aunt Melanie |
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| During our thirty minute window of holding him |
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| Rocking him for the brief time he was allowed outside of the isolette |
When we had Will six weeks early, I didn't think the NICU experience would ever end. The devastation of having to leave your newborn baby inside the tiny glass box while you walk away.. that will never compare to any other feeling in the world. Dave had to rip my hands away from the incubator when we had to leave the first night. They say that the baby will never remember what happened in the NICU but that doesn't matter because I will never forget every minute of that experience.
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| Our room at the Children's Home |
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| Strapped in and ready to go by ambulance to the Children's Home |
My typical NICU day, after we moved Will into the Children's home, was monotonous and thankfully uneventful. We were very lucky in the fact that Will did not have a lot of issues and had a relatively calm stay. If Dave wasn't staying in the NICU with me, I slept in Will's room on a cot. Through the night I'd wake up every three hours. The first wake up at midnight was easy. Sometimes I'd stay awake till then or just lay on the cot and doze on and off. I'd take Will's temperature and change his diaper. Measure how much pee or poop was in it and chart it for the nurse. We usually had some amazing nurses. There was one that was slightly off and I made sure to make mention that we didn't want her anymore. We rotated from a younger nurse and an older nurse. Both were amazing at getting him to eat his entire bottle. So after the nurse came in to make sure I was up and giving him his bottle and get his chart, I'd feed him his bottle and then we'd cuddle for a few minutes. Usually he went right to sleep after eating his bottle. After he had to go back into his isolette, I told the nurse how much he ate and then I started pumping. I exclusively pumped for three months. It was hard and it was worth it and I wish I was able to do it longer.
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| Feeding Will for the first time |
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| Daddy feeding Will |
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| The tape under his nose is to hold his feeding tube or "ng tube" in place |
Pumping took about 20 minutes. I'd get to bed with at least two hours of sleep before the next wake up. Three am came too fast and sometimes I'd pump while the nurse fed him and then head back to bed. Six am was easy because after I pumped, I showered and got something to eat. We were very lucky to have such amazing nurses. So each day, every three hours, we'd take temperature. We'd weigh the diaper. We'd chart everything. I'd just sit and watch him sleep in his isolette. I'd talk to my mom on the phone. My dad would stop by on lunch. Dave's mom would come by after dinner. My mom later on at night. We'd just hang out in the room until the next three hours.
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| Always escaping my swaddle |
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| FINALLY NO NG TUBE! |
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| First smile |
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| The first time in an open air crib! One step closer to home |
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| Going home! December 11, 2012 |
I remember so many details of that time. I remember so much emotion. I remember the first day I didn't cry at all. I remember my birthday being one of the hardest days. He was so close to coming home but he failed the car seat test. I didn't want to leave the hospital that night but I had to get home and get his room ready for when he did come home. I honestly can't believe any of that ever happened. It's so strange to think that was only a year ago.
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| Tiny little peanut |
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| First Christmas |
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| So tiny |
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| The only picture with a pacifier. First day home |
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| Daddy aka "Swaddle Champ" |
When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy and excited. When I started having issues in the pregnancy and had so many appointments a week, I was scared but hopefully I'd make it to 40 weeks. When we went to the hospital the day before he arrived, I was in shock and it wasn't really setting in that it was happening. When I was getting prepped for the c-section, I burst out into tears and it all hit me like a ton of bricks that this was it. When I woke up hours after the c-section and Will was born, the fear that I first felt was God awful. I woke up and Dave was next to me, his parents behind him and my parents at the end of my bed. I didn't know if Will was alive. I didn't know if he was going to be okay. Was he breathing? Was he sick? When can I see him?
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| New Years Eve 2012 |
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| My beautiful sister and best aunt ever to Will |
Will was perfect. From the minute he was born, he was perfect. He was my tiny little peanut. He'll always be my tiny little peanut. I would do anything for him and to see him hooked up to wires and a ventilator was one of the hardest things to see. Now that he's an entire year stronger, and I look back at where we started, my eyes just well up with tears. I'm so proud of him. If you follow me on instagram, you'll see two videos of Will taking a few steps today. STEPS! WALKING! My little man is almost walking. What an amazing milestone to hit on his first birthday.
Will,
You are everything we could have ever wanted in our life. You make our days exciting and filled with love. Everything that you have accomplished so far has only proved to us how amazing you will be when you're older. We wish that you'll always know how much we love you. You're one year old but you'll always be our baby.
Love, Mommy & Daddy
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| Look how far you've come |
